A fist full of change and a heart of gold

I write about my daughter Berit often but there is another little one in my life that is just as important.
Many of you know I was the nanny to a little boy named Charlie during my senior year of college.
I continued to babysit him every day and soon the Sappingtons were my family.
From dinners to spending the nights to playing in MeMaw's yard, I was always welcome at their home and table.

Now, that little boy is not so little and stands tall at 8-years-old with a love for Spiderman, pizza, and comic books.Charlie calls Berit his sister and loves her better than any big brother ever could. 
I've had the blessing of seeing sweet Charlie grow into a very kind person over the last 8 years and yesterday was no different.

As a picked him up from his house for Vacation Bible School, he walked outside and asked, "Can we go to Andy's?"
Andy's is the convenience store right down from his house and across from the DSU Library.
I had that "no" on the tip of my tongue.
No not today.
No not this time.
No, we've got to go to VBS, aren't you excited?

But I realized Charlie hadn't finished his sentence.
"Can we go to Andy's so I can give money to the children with cancer?"
I literally put my hand to my chest because I was so taken aback at what he said.
His grandmother said, "He's been going by every single day."
With a fistful of change and a dollar bill from his grandfather, we were off.

Normally, I'd expect to go in a store with a little kid and be asked to buy a dozen different snacks.
However, Charlie said he could handle it on his own so I watched this sweet 8 year old get out of the car, walk to the door and take the time to stop and speak to another little boy in a baseball uniform.
He held open the door for them, high fived the boy, then went inside.
It only took a moment.

He didn't purchase anything with the money and gave it all to the charity cup that sits on the counter in the store before coming back to the car and asking that I play "You're Welcome" by Dwayne Johnson from Moana so we could sing loudly.
We jammed all the way to VBS but I thought more about his heart and how kind his gesture was.

As I think back on how sweet that act of kindness was, and the many others he's done in just 8 years of life I'm absolutely inspired.
I learned long ago that he was named Charlie because, "Charlie just sounds like someone that you would want to be your friend."
I couldn't think of truer words.

I absolutely want Charlie as my friend and I'm blessed that he's my bestest friend and favoritist person and I'm his.

As adults, I think we forget how easy it is to be kind as we go through the motions of life.
How easy it is to grab a few nickels from your car for the donation cup at the convenience store.
And how a single high-five as you walk through a door can change someone's entire day.
So, as I finish out the rest of my week, I pray I can be just like my friend Charlie.

Giving. Loving. And the bestest friend.

This first appeared in The Bolivar Commercial. 

Little White Lies by Jennifer Lynn Barnes

Release date:Nov 6, 2018

There will be spoilers in this review. 

Buckle up y'all because this book is nothing but southern goodness.

A quick summary:

"I'm not saying this is Sawyer's fault," the prim and proper one said delicately. "But."
Eighteen-year-old auto mechanic Sawyer Taft did not expect her estranged grandmother to show up at her apartment door and offer her a six-figure contract to participate in debutante season. And she definitely never imagined she would accept. But when she realizes that immersing herself in her grandmother's "society" might mean discovering the answer to the biggest mystery of her life-her father's identity-she signs on the dotted line and braces herself for a year of makeovers, big dresses, bigger egos, and a whole lot of bless your heart. The one thing she doesn't expect to find is friendship, but as she's drawn into a group of debutantes with scandalous, dangerous secrets of their own, Sawyer quickly discovers that her family isn't the only mainstay of high society with skeletons in their closet. There are people in her grandmother's glittering world who are not what they appear, and no one wants Sawyer poking her nose into the past. As she navigates the twisted relationships between her new friends and their powerful parents, Sawyer's search for the truth about her own origins is just the beginning.
Set in the world of debutante balls, grand estates and rolling green hills, Little White Lies combines a charming setting, a classic fish-out-of-water story, and the sort of layered mystery only author Jennifer Lynn Barnes can pull off. 

From GoodReads. 

The Set Up:

I tend to focus on how an author opens a story because really, that's what make you want to keep reading. Barnes starts us off in jail and from the POV of the police officer, who is totally clueless as to why three debutantes in white gowns are in his jail cell in the first place. 

We meet our MC, Sawyer, through "And the fourth girl? She was picking the lock," before we are pushed back to nine months earlier when Sawyer meets her grandmother and is offered the contract. I was laughing from the beginning and immediately wanted to know how this cop got himself into his predicament. 

She'll continue to occasionally switch back to the jail scene and officer POV until we are caught up in the timeline of the story.

We're introduced to Sawyer through the many hobbies she has had over the years and this is how Barnes lets us know more about Sawyer's childhood. 

With lines such as, "I'd developed sequential interests in lock picking, the Westminster Dog Show, and fixing the perfect martini," and “For the record,” I told my cousin, “any lock-picking ability I may or may not have acquired growing up has less to do with where I lived and more to do with the fact that I was a very weird, very obsessive little kid," we learn why Sawyer is good at certain things, but they are also relatable reasons. 

We've all had that late night obsession with conspiracy theories on the internet or wanted to learn how to be a spy. 

What stood out:

Barnes has either been to my hometown, or has some sort of magical powers because she writes this world so well. Not only does she create the world but she describes the details of her characters in such a way that readers can immediately see them with lines such as, "She had a Southern accent—less twang and more drawl than my own. Com-pluh-mehnt or an in-suhlt?"  and “Money isn’t something we talk about, Sawyer. It’s something we have," as she's describing Lillian Taft.  

One of the scenes that stood out to me most was when Sawyer has agreed to her grandmother's contract and is going to the Taft home for the first time. She's greeted at the door by her Aunt Olivia and the following conversation happens:

“John David Easterling,” she called, raising her voice so it carried. “Who’s the best shot in this family?” 

There was no reply. William Faulkner butted his head against my thigh and huffed. I bent slightly—very slightly—to pet him and noticed the red dot that had appeared on my tank top. 

“I will skin you alive if you pull that trigger,” my aunt called, her voice disturbingly cheerful. 

What trigger? I thought. The red dot on my torso wavered slightly. 

“Now, young man, I believe I asked you a question. Who’s the best shot in this family?”

We later hear John David glumly reply that the best shot in the family is his momma, who tells her child target practice on our family is not appropriate nor polite. These genuine conversations are what is so grabbing about this story. You care what's happening because they are relatable, or were for me as a girl who grew up with a sporting clay world champion for a grandfather and a very bragging mother. I even wrote the note, "this entire scene is phenomenal." TRUTH.

Discussion Topics:

Drama

This story is nothing but dramatic. From debutantes under contract to a blog with secrets written on a girl's body then published, I can easily see this on Freeform taking the spot Pretty Little Liars left open. 

Throughout the story the one goal is for Sawyer to find out who her father is. There are three options and Barnes leaves us breadcrumbs throughout so when we learn the truth, it all makes sense. 

While we're on the hunt for Sawyer's dad, we also learn our villain Campbell Ames has gotten herself into a pickle and wants to out someone for a drunk driving incident that ended in a hit and run and a boy in long term care. With these two stories woven together, the book was hard to put down.

As a teacher, this would be a great book for those that aren't interested in reading but like to Netflix binge. 

Vocabulary

Barnes uses vocabulary that is absolutely refreshing. She challenges the mind of her audience but also makes these words and this story completely accessible. Some words I highlighted were:

Rapscallion

Adroit

Coquette

Salacious

Dishabille

Teen Pregnancy

There is so much to unpack here and discussion topics would be great. However, we don't see much of a discussion of teen pregnancy and the ramifications until the very end. I would have loved to see a bit more once Sawyer arrives on the scene and starts asking questions, however, there's another side of me that says it makes sense it's avoided because of the nature of these characters and their lifestyle. Teen pregnancy and scandal is not to be discussed. This is a perfect way to discuss the importance of these topics and having open and honest conversations.

I won't spoil anymore but I will say I rate this book 4.5. I loved it! It was fun, dramatic, relatable, and I want more. SO good news! I tweeted the author and learned a sequel is in the works! 

  

Have you read Little White Lies? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

To purchase Little White Lies go here!

To learn more about Jennifer Barnes and her awesomeness go here and here! 

Children do what they see

When this life knocks you down, I hope you get down on your knees 'cause that's
what I do when I pray for you. 

Berit may look like her daddy but she does so many things that I do from sleeping the same to poking her lip out when she's sad, a classic baby Courtney trademark.
When I first became pregnant I remember this overwhelming feeling of anxiety.
How am I supposed to teach this little person to be a good big person?
My dad said for me to just be a good person so she would know what one looks like.
I thought I had it bad when Charlie watched me constantly, but now that I've got little eyes on me 24/7. I have to really pay attention.

One of the things I've been working on with her is praying at meal times and bedtime.
This is something Charlie took to quickly and loves to lead us in prayer now so he was so excited when I told him last week that Berit was finally picking up on it.
He grabbed her chubby hand over their Mexican food and they both bowed their heads to bless our burritos.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't sneak a peak at the two of them.
My bestest friend praying with my favorite person was the sweetest thing I've ever seen.
He said, "Amen" and Nana immediately clapped. "Yay, Jesus!" we said at the table.
Over the course of the past two weeks I've seen her mimic more and more as she shakes her finger and at the dogs to say, "no no" or wants me to carry her so we can turn off all of the lights in the house then say, "all gone!"

When we're in the car we are entertaining in our own private concert featuring Mommy and Berit.
I haven't always been comfortable raising my hands to God in worship, something Brett does often and I've always admired.

Before I was pregnant I went to church with Brett's family and one of his little cousins, who was around 2 at the time, was in the arms of her grandmother.
As her grandmother lifted her hands during the song and said, "Hallelujah" baby Abbie closed her eyes and lifted her hands the exact same way to say "Hallelujah."
I remember my jaw dropping as this little girl mimicked what she saw in the most genuine way.
I immediately thought, I want my child to do that.

Flash forward to several years later, and Berit and I are in the car singing one of our favorites (because I can hit the high notes) “O'Lord” by Lauren Daigle.
Berit is bobbing her head and then the chorus hits.
"Oh, O'Lord O'Lord I know You hear my cry/ Your love is lifting me above all the lies/No matter what I face this I know in time/You'll take all that is wrong and make it right"

I have my elbow resting on the armrest and my hand up and open.
I glance in the back, and both of my child's chubby little arms are up and above her head as she bobs along to the song.
It took my breath away.
It was the most pure, innocent worship I've ever seen and it was beautiful.

Oh, I know she'll grow up someday, but I hope she takes her time because I know one day she'll be worried about who is watching.
I hope, and pray, she'll remember the most important one watching is the one she's lifting those hands for.


This article first appeared in The Bolivar Commercial.

The Cruel Prince Review and Lessons

There will be spoilers in this review.

I was so excited to see The Cruel Prince by Holly Black on a shelf in the bookstore in Oxford.

Spending summers at Hollins for grad school, Holly Black has become one of those names you say with adoration and respect—she's one of the greats.

She's one of the greats but I'd never read any of her books. Well, NOT ANYMORE!

That being said, I finished The Cruel Prince in about three days, staying up late into the night after the baby was in her crib.

A quick summary:

Jude was seven when her parents were murdered and she and her two sisters were stolen away to live in the treacherous High Court of Faerie. Ten years later, Jude wants nothing more than to belong there, despite her mortality. But many of the fey despise humans. Especially Prince Cardan, the youngest and wickedest son of the High King.

To win a place at the Court, she must defy him–and face the consequences.

As Jude becomes more deeply embroiled in palace intrigues and deceptions, she discovers her own capacity for trickery and bloodshed. But as betrayal threatens to drown the Courts of Faerie in violence, Jude will need to risk her life in a dangerous alliance to save her sisters, and Faerie itself.

From Good Reads.

The Set Up:

The Cruel Prince begins with two sentences that are immediately attention grabbing.

"On a drowsy Sunday afternoon, a man in a long dark coat hesitated in front of a house on a tree-lined street. He hadn't parked a car, nor had he come by taxi."

I have so many questions, as many readers do with great opening lines.

Why a long dark coat?

If he didn't come by taxi or car how did he get there?

Who is he?

Black shows us a world that sometimes we forget. The world of Fairie is a dark and whimsy world, reminding us that fairies are troublemakers and do things for their own enjoyment rather than the sweet fairies we imagine as little children.

The world building is great but even more so because with each new creature we get a small description of what they are or what they do. For someone who is not familiar with fantasy books, or doesn't read them often, it was helpful to have these small glimpses so I didn't have to constantly Google. I felt welcome and comfortable in this world Black created for me.

Black also sets up the best transition I've seen on a long time. In the prologue, our characters are young children.

After the kidnapping, we get to chapter 1, which is just one simple sentence, "In Faerie, there are no fish sticks, no ketchup, no television."

This one chapter gives us all the childhood we need to be prepared for chapter 2, which begins with a teenaged Jude. That's good writing, and writing I hope to teach to my own students!

What stood out:

The relationships in this book are very complicated but I LOVE IT. 

Jude is pretty upfront with how she feels about Madoc and even though he murdered her family, she loves him. She knows that he has raised her out of an obligation of honor, even though "Taryn and I are the evidence of Mom's betrayal, by the customs of Faerie, we're his wife's kids, so we're his problem,"(11).

He even reads them to sleep, the books are on battle strategy, but you still see a sense of love between these characters.

Jude makes it very clear that this is "not a comfortable kind of love." She also later says, "I love my parent's murderer, I suppose I could love anyone."

She loves him and Fairie even though she shouldn't because she's human, while Vivi hates Fairie but shouldn't because she's Fey.

There's a huge theme of belonging here (a theme I plan to use in the classroom) and while Jude and Taryn want to belong, Vivi just wants to leave even though she already belongs.

I did question Taryn and Jude's relationship because it changed so drastically from the beginning to the end and would have enjoyed seeing a bit more unwinding.

In the beginning of the story they seem very bonded, but then in the ends, it's easy for these two to be taken apart and work against one another.

I think part of this can be explained because of Taryn's needing to belong and wanting to find love. We can all relate to a guy messing with our heads right? Either way, as a teacher I firmly believe it's okay to ask questions of all books. It's also okay to have a student say they don't like a book, as long as they can back it up with a reason other than "I hate reading."

Jude is ruthless, impulsive, and easy to love and follow throughout this story. There were a few times where I was waiting for her to snap, but knew she was about to Shut. It. Down.

“If I cannot be better than them, I will become so much worse.”

 “If you hurt me, I wouldn’t cry. I would hurt you back.”

I really would have liked to see more training with Ghost for Jude rather than the quick gloss overs. I feel like I could somehow get a foreshowing for her personality, which changes a great deal by the end of the book. I just want more! More more more! Maybe that's me being a selfish reader but I'm not ashamed.

Discussion Topics:

Abuse

There a great deal of abuse in The Cruel Prince from a bullying aspect to an abusive brother beating his younger sibling. I've read several reviews that feel this is problematic, however, as a teacher, I see this as a huge discussion point and a way of opening up conversation in my classroom.

These are topics I've added into my lesson plans to discuss the effectiveness of the writing, but also give an opportunity for students to discuss if these abusive situations give us reasonable cause for the cruelty we see from some of these characters.

One scene that truly struck me and stuck with me well into the evening was when one of our villains, Valerian, who is nothing but cruel, shoves faerie fruit into Jude's mouth, which causes any human to lose control of themselves despite any geas they may have.

This scene is slowed down in such a way that the tension literally made my stomach hurt.

We see our strong main character begin to quickly unravel and think, "I feel like. I am unwinding. I am unfurling like a banner,"(97).

We watch at the faerie discuss what they should do with her and ask her embarrassing questions like who Jude would most like to kiss and even go as far as convincing her to take off her dress in front of all of them.

Comparisons

I plan to teach this book alongside A Midsummer Night's Dream and draw comparisons with Puck, the idea of manipulation, and the rules of each of these worlds.

I really want to explore Puck's trickster ways vs. Carden, Locke, and Valerian's trickster ways to see how they are similar and different. Who do we like more? Who can we make excuses for? Why?

Desensitization

How do all of the gruesome political deaths truly effect the faerie? Is it easy for us to turn these pages? Why or why not?

Have you read The Cruel Prince? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

For a lesson plan for Teachers Pay Teachers visit my shop here!

To purchase The Cruel Prince go here!

To learn more about Holly Black and her awesomeness go here and here!
To preorder the next book in the series go here!

Unplug and squish through the mud

Sometimes it's hard to unplug. With cell phones, iPads, smart cars, laptops and answers at our fingertips, it's no wonder we are so easily distracted.
"Unplug" is a word we say a lot at our house. With a little one growing up at the speed of light, I want to make sure my eyes are on her rather than Instagram.
While I love to share with friends and family and do so regularly, watching her learn to walk is more important than Facebook watching her learn to walk.

This weekend we attended Delta Down and Dirty, a super cool fun run for kids in Cleveland.
Before the 8-year-old heat began, Nana (my nickname for Berit) trotted over to a particularly inviting mud puddle and watched as another little girl with long blonde curls stomped in the water with all of her might.

Nana was impressed.

She follow suit and before I knew it had mud all the way up to her knees and her pink glitter hair bow was pink no more.

After a very impressive jump, she fell right on her behind leaving the perfect mud imprint of her little bottom. She squished the mud between her toes and even grabbed some in her pudgy hands.

It's always good to have "play clothes" and spare clothes on hand

My favorite former fire inspector was standing close by and said, "Courtney, this is exactly how my generation used to play!"

I thought back to my own childhood in the Georgia red clay mud.
My dad loves telling the story of watching me play in a huge mud puddle in his brand new designer boots. My foot got stuck so I pulled it from the boot, stepped a few feet, and then put my now red muddy foot back in these new boots.

He claims he'd never even worn them before but just shook his head in love while watching me.
I did the same as I watched my daughter squish squish squish plop on Saturday morning.
Standing there, I vowed to keep her unplugged for as long as possible. Or at least take time each week to unplug with her.

I want her to keep these squishy and muddy memories safe in her heart just like mine so that she knows how important it is to put down our iPhones and spend a little time in the dirt.
Because in the dirt is where growth happens, not on iPhones.
Shortly after, we were off to the races, watching our favorite 8-year-old run as hard as he could through the course.

We cheered, we ran, we fell several more times, and when he crossed the finish line we got to shout, "You did it! You did it!"

I'm pretty sure shouts of accomplishment like that don't happen after a marathon of iPad Tetris.
Technology is so much fun, it's so important, and it's everywhere.

But so is family.
So are friends.
And so is mud.

This column originally ran in The Bolivar Commercial

Be the best ringleader

My life looks nothing like my Instagram feed. When I scroll through pictures I see gorgeous peonies perfectly placed in vases in beautiful white living rooms with fluffy pillows.
As we work on staging our home to sell I'm trying to channel my inner Pinterest girl and get similar looks with perfectly placed vases and pillows.
Then my child comes in with a sticky spoon and Nutella covered hands and her bow is around her neck and where are her pants and please stop pulling the dog's hair!
I turn on “The Greatest Showman,” the newest distraction, and as Barnum sings about coming to the other side because it's the greatest ride, I'm wondering how I can get dried Nutella out of blonde curls without causing tears.

I'm the ringleader to my own circus now.

Watching The Greatest Showman from her "seat"

Every single night I put each piece of my home back in place before throwing all of the clutter and crafts into a box, and then shove that box into a closet.
I fluff pillows and Clorox wipe counters. I pick up every single block from the floor because perfect Pinterest moms do not have blocks in their floors.

I've completed all of my tasks and checked off my to do list somewhere between midnight and 2 a.m. and at this point I've watched “The Greatest Showman” three more times.
Then, as I place my still dirty hair head on my should-be-ironed-pillow, my baby cries. I try to ignore it. I mute the monitor and watch the blinking lights go from green to red to green to red as her wailing crescendos into a sound that should be coming from one of P.T. Barnum's circus animals rather than my tiny daughter.

I climb back out of bed careful not to put anything out of place, go to her Pinterest perfect room where she has pushed the wall so hard the crib is now several feet from its original spot and her blanket is lying in the floor, discarded in a fit of rage from being left alone in her nursery.
I take a deep breath and try to calm her.

Once I realize the only calming thing is my arms I take her to my room where she finds that perfect spot that a parent seems to develop after their first child is born.
It's that warm spot from your elbow to your shoulder where babies just seem to fit perfectly and no harm can happen to anyone.

She's snoring before I have an opportunity to give her back her pacifier and push play on her movie.
In the morning the alarm shouts way too early and that little snorer is up and once again dancing to the musical talents of Zac Efron before I have a chance to take my first sip of coffee.
By the time I have shoes on, she has scattered more blocks, more dolls, several coat hangers, her Minnie Mouse vacuum, and someone's fuzzy toothbrush.

My house, no longer looks like Pinterest, Instagram, or even a crumpled Wal-Mart ad in the trash bin.
My house looks like the Warren Family lives here.

I got frustrated, and slightly overwhelmed. I raised my voice when I probably should not have.
But as I put the blocks back into the tiny bin, rushing because I knew there was a diaper to change and a dog to be crated before I ran out the door, a pudgy little hand dropped a red block into the basket.

She then looked at me, barely able to talk and exclaimed, "yay!"

Then she clapped. For me.

My house may not always look like Pinterest and Instagram and my follower count might have dropped by 150 people in the last month, but this morning I got applause from the smallest and most important fan I have.

So if your house is covered in blocks, crayons, or even toilet paper because somehow she found that too, just remember to take a bow in the middle of the circus. Because you're the best ringleader they will ever see. And right now, this is the greatest show.

This column originally ran in the Bolivar Commercial 

A Bible Journaling Entry from @planondeltatime